Are you enjoying your first Sunday of Fall? I’ve decided to believe that today’s shenanigans are not predictive of what this season has to offer. As much as I’m mourning the end of Summer, I’m hoping that the shift in the earth’s axis will result in a change in my own reality.
When there are elements in my life that seem to be unaffected by my attempts at persuasion (e.g. the lottery, the weather and my psoas injury) I try to turn my attention to the things I can control. I’m much more confident in my ability to create a sumptuous meal from simple ingredient than in finding my ticket to fortune and a life of leisure. Today was full of uncertainties, punishment for poor decision-making and one terrific treat. I don’t know what you’re dealing with in your home, or in your life – but if you’re looking for some sweetness this recipe may just hit the spot.
Each bite of this ice cream is an embrace of Fall. I think a scoop would be the perfect pair for a warm apple crisp or apple pie. However, I’m most excited to try it with crunchy granola. The textural contrast and balance of savoury and sweet flavours would be amazing. Oh, I think I just decided on my birthday breakfast :).
Okay, so here’s what happened:
Since you’ve been along for the ride thus far, I thought I’d also share a quick recap of today’s race. In case you’re new to the blog – quick update: I love running. I’ve done a few races. I was training hard for today’s race until a month ago. My psoas is driving me crazy and I haven’t been able to run for a month. Now you’re up to speed (but I’m not…lol).
I actually had dreams in which I surprised everyone and ran a fantastic race. I should of realized how far fetched that was when the physio-therapist at the race expo said “you’re walking like crap” and then ushered me to the bathroom to apply Kensio tape to my glutes and IT bands (yes, I stood there in my underwear hoping for a cure). Despite the signs I somehow remained optimistic.
Last night, I did everything right. I got lots of sleep – set out my gear and put my alarm on for 6 am. I got up, fuelled with banana, almond butter and raisins and set off for the start line.
I love it when the start-line is a 20 minute walk from my apartment. I didn’t need to stand in the 20 minute line for the bathroom because I’d barely left mine. That was the last coup of the day.
I found my coral (the yellow balloons were the clue) and stood among the happy, healthy runners. I got excited as we waited for the count-down. I kept telling myself “You can do this. People live with pain everyday. You will live through this”.
I started running (it was more of a run-limp kind of routine) and I was smiling. But I couldn’t sustain it. I was getting slower with each step and the pain from my hip was moving down my leg and across my back as I continued to push ahead. At 8 km I realized that I was not going to finish. I started to get worried that running further would result in a medical escort home. So, I stepped aside. I walked off the course, cheered for the other runners and started toward home.
Just after I left the course the elite males ran past. They looked so strong and healthy. I can’t wait to feel that in-control of my body again. I know that my decision to leave the race (as if I really had a choice) will make healing faster.
I’m not sorry I tried – although, I’m currently having trouble walking. I’m happy I was able to cheer on my fellow runners. I was inspired by all the individuals who got out of bed this morning to engage in activity that made them feel alive – exhilarated – happy!
I was touched by all the runners who stopped to see if I was okay, the man who offered to buy me coffee when he realized I must have quit the race and my Mom who listened to me cry while I stood on the sidelines and watched everyone else run past. So many of you offered words of support and encouragement throughout my training. I can’t tell you how much that means to me.
As I walked home, watching the runners disappear into the distance, I realized that this moment has meaning way beyond not finishing the race. Sometimes you’re heading down a path in life that just doesn’t feel right, but you continue because it seems like the only way to go (and everyone else is going that way). I proved to myself that I have the courage to say “this is not right for me” and start out on my own. I feel like I’ve reached an important fork in the road. I just hope that path I forge takes me somewhere more exciting than my couch (covered in ice packs) – but at least there was ice cream. Sometimes quitters are winners.